INNOCENCE....

Sometimes I will read something and it speaks to me in ways that cause me to feel that the author is talking to me...or reaching into my head, or heart, and knowing what is there at that very moment...the following is one of those times. It's snowy here, I'm feeling very mellow, and why not share a sensibility and personal truth and belief that someone else has already captured, far better than I ever could. The concept of being willing, a willingness, is something that I think about often. What was I/he/she/they willing to do? Under any corcumstance. It's one of those "objective" words, the answer to the question is just a fact, not a judgment (unless we choose to take that judgment on). Really simple. Was I willing to do something or not. Any unwillingness to do something, at any moment, really doesn't mean anything other than I was not willing to do it. Then. Maybe would have later. Or not. It has no greater significance, without any story around it. My degree of willingness doesn't make me good or bad, what I did right or wrong (necessarily). It's a "just is." So, in a world where opinions and judgments, flowing in and out, are a less than a dime a dozen, "willing" for me is a comforting Switzerland. Even though this exceprt from Ganjali's book seems to be more about "innocence", the two words, and concepts, are clearly intertwined.

Thanks to Leslie Asch for turning me on to these words....

-JP

"True innocence is the capacity to directly experience what is here right now, without any demands that it look, act, or feel differently.

Innocence is openness, the willingness to see and to trust, even if what appears seems absolutely untrustworthy. True innocence is naivete, nor is it delusion. However, it involves vulnerability. The willingness to be hurt. This willingness to be vulnerable is what the term "spiritual warrior" really means. Vulnerability takes more courage than being cynical, strong, or powerful. It takes courage to be open, innocent and willing to be hurt.

Because of the nature of extremely close relationships, especially between parents, children, lovers, and partners, hurt is often experienced. So what? Hurt may feel like the end of the world, but it's not. Hurt hurts. The degree to which you are willing to be hurt, not wanting to be hurt but willing to be hurt, is the degree to which you are willing to love, be loved and be taught by love. Love can be your teacher, though it never teaches withdrawal from experiencing hurt. Other people are not the source of your hurt; the source of hurt is the fact that you love. Trust the love. If the love is to hurt you, then let it hurt you fully. Let it annihilate you. Let your heart break open so that an even deeper love can be revealed.

Most everything we do is to avoid vulnerability. We dress up in grown-up clothes, and play at doing grown-up work, in an attempt to escape the defenseless innocence associated with childhood. But innocence is not limited to children. It is possible for you as an adult to be consciously vulnerable and innocent. You can consciously hurt. You can consciously suffer. When you suffer consciously, suffering is revealed not to be what you thought. In conscious suffering, you are no longer fighting the suffering. You are consciously present in it. Then suffering itself reveals the Buddha, Christ's heart, God revealing Itself to you on the mountain. If suffering is met as it appears, then suffering is discovered not to be suffering. But the intention is not to meet suffering to get rid of it. The innocent intention is to meet suffering as it is, even if it means feeling hurt.

Most people are more afraid of having their feelings hurt than they are of having their bodies hurt. But the willingness to be hurt is crucial. Without the willingness to be hurt, there is no willingness to be hurt, there is no willingness to love, no willingness to die, no willingness to live, no willingness to be.

It is easy to see from your own life experience that no matter how much you try and run away from hurt, you still experience it. To stop the running, to turn and experience what is chasing you, open and unprotected, you have to be willing to be free. Are you willing to be free?

You can examine your life and see for yourself what you are running from, what you are trying to escape. It may be very subtle. But just in the seeing of it, there is the possibility of a deeper opening."

The Diamond In Your Pocket, by Ganjali