BARACK, DAVID AND JP

It was a little after midnight on Election Night. I was standing downstairs at the Paris Commune restaurant in the Village, surrounded by people who were there to both watch the Presidential returns and share in the spirit and work that My First Vote propelled. And, despite the surroundings, the optimism that was crackling all around, the champagne that was flowing, I felt somewhat in my own “bubble”, trying to keep my “what if it doesn’t happen” uneasiness at bay…I had been SO anxious and wary all day…all night…all week. The extraordinary experience of being out there, on the road, with great people, in and of itself was life transforming…add to that the very real feeling that I had been given such a gift of passion and spirit and hope and wonder from each person, each student, who had touched me every day, I had found myself in somewhat of an “altered state” in the 10 days since we returned – personally a bit more fragile, while maintaining hope about the possibility of profound change in this country. At a touch before 11PM, as Obama’s Electoral Count stood at 205 with the entire far West Coast Blue States about to close their polls, I still couldn’t totally shake my unease and believe what everyone was telling me was now in the bag…the incredible inevitable of this new dawn in America. And as, moments later, the Audacity of Hope transformed into the Tears of Joy and Wonder, I was both overwhelmed and numb…my usual Geminiacal dichotomy of emotions and reflection…and release…

It was profoundly clear to me on November 4 that the change that I have been feeling brewing for quite some time, the rumblings from within and the visible signs from without, are deeper and more widespread than is simply manifested in the election of Barack Obama as President. And, while it is probably true that if Bush hadn’t been such an abomination – as a leader, as a reflection of who we are as a country – if the times were/are not as challenging as they are, Americans may well have elected John McCain, as much out of a fear (of change), as anything else. It had to get pretty dark to be able to see, or find, the light…and the light switch that will, I feel, allow us to see ourselves, and each other, in a new way, with a clearer lens. What I am struck by is what Barack Obama represents to us on many different levels – as a father, as a husband, as a leader…as a Man. A Kind Man. A Compassionate Man. A Strong Man. There is an amazing shift going on right now with the traditional male paradigm, part of a continuum that had already been well in motion, and now which seems to be more fully, and openly, ready to truly blossom.

Two days before Election Day, I went to the wedding of my extraordinary Rabbi, David Ingber, and his wonderful (now) wife, and partner, Ariel Rosen. Spouses and partners. Those two words and roles and concepts, unfortunately are not always joined together at all, let alone seamlessly, congruently, elevationally. Ariel is David’s partner in the vision to manifest David’s vision for Romemu (www.romemu.org) to its full possibility, and in the full-on experience of their lives – individually and together. How clearly that is evident to all whom they touch, and was experienced by everyone who was blessed to bask in the glow of their love at their wedding ceremony. I stood in the back of the synagogue, and breathed in so deeply the life force and love and energy that they created together, each component of their connection embodied in every aspect of the who, what, why, when and how of their wedding. I really can’t underscore that enough – I have never experienced anything like that in my life, regardless of the beauty and wonder of ceremonies, rituals and people who have previously touched me. As I wrote to them the next day, “it was so completely congruent with who you are, individually and as partners, it is hard to describe to others...the level of your love, consciousness, mutual support, joy and wisdom permeated each component of your wedding...the abundance swirling around, and through, you is so uplifting to those who were there, all of those whom you touch. Listening to one of the Rabbis who married them say how it takes an integration of one's inner and outer lives to feel fully whole, in both individuals to be able to show up fully for themselves, and then for and with another, is so true, something that I think about so often...and, I have seen first-hand how that has been embodied in you both since you have evolved together. By simply your presence and willingness to share who you are so deeply with others, you have set the "bar" wonderfully high, as a three-dimensional example of what is possible when deep love, between two people, is open and present.” Standing in the back, able to move about and watch everyone in the circle that surrounded David and Ariel watching them, I couldn’t help but look under the chuppa, at my Rabbi and friend, and fellow Peaceful Warrior, David…and feel such pride to be an open man, by feeling his love, and the love of the “brothers” (and sisters) who can embrace open, caring, emotional men…the kind of men who are ready, willing and able to be true life partners because of their ability to embrace, and share, all sides of themselves…to allow the yin and the yang to work together, to not shy away from pieces of themselves that may be perceived to be “soft” or “sensitive” (as if that’s a bad thing)…to “be a man” in all respects, including as a confidante and lover and friend. As I have been steadily developing different projects over the last few years around the male-female connection, as I have been exploring ways to help explode (or at least shift) the framework and shape of the traditional male paradigm, I have continuously asked both men and women who they see as the “role models” for the 21st Century man…there have been so many female breakthroughers and leaders (intended or otherwise) and mirrors from whom women can see, and then derive, that self-motivational spark to push their own envelope…regardless of where one might sit on the spectrum. And, who are the comparable reflectors and guides for men? We may know some personally, yet who are the more public figures who could be held up as representatives of a new way of “acting like a man”? As an example, men who might put family first (at least equal), while also (not instead of) maintaining their own sense of self, and their personal dreams…men who might see compassion as a neither male nor female quality, and who can partner-up with strong women while both not fear losing themselves in a relationship AND celebrate who these women are…inside. So, after this last week, I do have renewed and increasing hope about that “State of Man”, and what is possible…as much about the men as about the women who, hopefully, do indeed celebrate these ever evolving men…guys who embrace the journey as opposed to being merely focused on some destination…men who can honor those parts of themselves that may be still considered, in the lexicon of sexual identity, “female”…as I looked at David Ingber and Ariel Rosen look at each other, as I see photos and video of Barack Obama being with his beloved Michelle and their kids, I experience the kind of devotional love that a man can ONLY have by celebrating all parts of who he is, and what is possible…it’s a great thing.